I am so happy to announce the Funniest Stripper Name I've Heard All Year:

Pantease.
Pronounced "pan-TEEZ."
That's right. Like panties, but with the accent on the second syllable. I'm not sure if that's the spelling she uses or the DJ being funny, but dammit, I don't think of panties when they say her name. I think of the line of hair products which have a name that sounds almost exactly the same. I think of Pantene. I laugh out loud every time this girl is on stage, I can't help it.

There's a girl who works at the club who's a cute, really overweight blonde, and she is extremely friendly. Apparently she wasn't always in her current condition, since she brags of having worked at Scores and various other tony gentlemen's clubs in the US. Either that or she's full of shit. Anyhow, she's really friendly. Me, some days I am just not that friendly. Sometimes it takes all of my energy to be friendly to the paying customers, and I don't have any energy left over to pretend to give a crap about whatever nonsense some other dancer is spewing, unless she's a friend of mine. And by friend I mean someone with whom I've voluntarily exchanged phone numbers with or made plans outside of work with, not just everyone I talk to at work. This narrows the field down to about three people that I might want to say hi to on those kinds of days. Apparently, my lack of enthusiasm in greeting aforementioned bubbly blonde had gotten to her. I was talking to the bartender when all of a sudden, bb comes up to me and says, "Are you mad at me? You don't talk to me like you used to." The bartender and I are struck dumb, then I stammer out a response expressing the above sentiments in a courteous, condensed manner. "Like, other people were noticing it too. One of the other girls asked me, 'Did you and Susan fall out or something?'" Which I know is total bull, it's something she made up, completely, I could tell. At the most, I was friendly to her, certainly we weren't work buddies or anything of the sort. After she left, the bartender said, "Well, that was unfair." Yes, yes it was.