This is funny:

The last fun he'll ever have? Where do you get that idea? My bachelor party was the last case of alcohol poisoning I'll ever have, and that's about it.

I think some of these guys think I take myself much more seriously than I do. I'm well aware that the stripper's presence at a bachelor party is more about comedy than titillation.

You were the worst lap dance ever, actually. But that was primarily because I was ready to vomit from the alcohol--can't blame you entirely for that.

Can't blame me at all for that; I'm the stripper, not the bartender. I have certainly seen some drunk bachelors in my time, but I can only think of a couple who were drunk enough to actually pass out at their parties. And as far as "the best lap dance ever," haven't you people ever heard of advertising? Sheesh. Bachelor parties are about performance and fun; giving a guy's friends a chance to roast him before the big day.

Tell us...do you ever post in your diaries when a bachelor is dissatisfied?

I don't really know if bachelors are dissatisfied, since they generally all act about the same when I'm there. I've never had one protest while I've been there. If that happened I would definitely write about it, it would be hilarious. Maybe they get stripper remorse and then send me funny emails later, but no one's complained to my face.

The doctor today told me I had a virus. You know, I work in a damn bar and never pick up anything there, and then it never fails--at the beginning of school, I always wind up getting sick. More rest was all he could prescribe. I think I might be back into work by Thursday.