Early on last evening I sold one of my thongs for $50 to a customer. Little did I know how happy I'd be about that decision later on, when the night was dead dead dead. There was a female customer who had covered herself in glitter lotion so just having her breathe on you would leave the shit all over your face. There was a mixed group, six total, two May-December pairings that may or may not have been for profit, and one of the women was waaaaasted and hopped up on the stage. After being admonished by the bouncer, one of her female companions said, "You don't want to kick us out. We're going to spend a lot of money." Hahhahhahaha. I think they threw down about seven singles their entire time at the tip rail, and the drunk one kept shouting "Ass-and-titties! Ass-and-titties!" Her "date," who was about 75 and using a cane, kept trying to hold her down, instead of doing what he should have, which is toss a ton of money at the dancers on stage so we'd smile and nod at her drunkenness instead of asking the manager why they hadn't been tossed yet.

Thank god for panty guy and the guy at the end of the night, otherwise it would have been a total loss of a night.