Here I am in Portland finally, relaxing in a lovely hotel room after my first day's work in the PDX. I went to two clubs to audition yesterday, rival clubs in Beaverton, and got hired and scheduled at both, but I think I've decided just to work at one of them this week since I don't want to get in trouble in case they're territorial about their dancers and because I like one of them better.

At the first one, I had to sit around for ages; the total process took about an hour and fifteen minutes and then the manager told me I could work days, perhaps nights though "I'd like to see you tone up a little, maybe more makeup. And a tan, unless you like the goth look."
"Uh, I just don't like skin cancer. Though I'm not averse to a spray tan." If I really wanted to be a bitch, I'd have asked this manager, who was quite the butterball, for the number of his personal trainer. Hah hah.

So then on to the next one, where the audition process was much shorter and where I think I'll be able to have a more flexible schedule; I was put on for nights and days.

But what to do about the first club? I left a message tonight stating I wouldn't be able to work the shifts I scheduled there but am supposed to call tomorrow as well; I am hesitant to burn any bridges as, even though there are 50 strip clubs in Portland, there are about seven at which I'd like to work and would like to keep all of my options open. I definitely plan on trying to get a shift a week at one of the fun downtown clubs just to have a place to play the funky music and have a good time.

See, this is the bizarre thing about strip club auditions. Sometimes you hear that you need to lose weight and tan from a fat man, and sometimes you are hailed as the cutest thing since Rachel McAdams. At the same exact type of club. I suppose that's a reflection of hiring managers' individual tastes, though I would think smart ones would hire with an eye towards variety (of course standards are always good).

Case in point: a very attractive dancer back in Indiana was made to work shitty day shifts for weeks as a disciplinary action. She was in far better shape than many of the dancers there, day or night, myself included. But she got stuck with the crappy shifts for weeks there.

Anyhow, I'd be thrilled if I worked at that first club during the day and it turned out to be really lucrative, but I'd be more thrilled to work at the second one where the manager was nice to me (and where, after a slow start, I pulled a reasonable amount of money out by the end of the shift).

It was great to be naked again. No more nipple-killing latex to apply and rip off, and no more extreme shaving required. I can have a little bush again. Hee. And there was a nice large stage, and I didn't have shove my titties near anyone's stubble, and people just toss money up on to the stage. I love that. Especially the cowboy who tossed up fives and the two guys who would throw seven or eight bucks up there each song. I did, let's see, two nude dances and four couch dances, which at this club are the fucking strangest thing ever, as they are done in a long dress or pants outfit, on the couch, with a pillow placed over the customer's crotch and your hir tied back so they can tell nothing naughty is happening. The point seems to be to run your hands through the customer's hair, rub his shoulders, gaze deeply into his eyes, and talk dirty if you're so inclined. I was reprimanded twice (for being a dirty, dirty bitch and having the slit of my dress slide up to my hip and for placing a leg on the pillow that was on top of the customer) and think I finally have a clue about how to do the damn things. The customers were all cool, the dancers were nice, and I like the club's layout.

Oh, oh, oh, I also didn't smoke! I quit the day of the move and today was my first day at work--and I made it without smoking. This is huge. I have never worked a shift without smoking before today. Of course, I've got a piece of nicotine gum in my mouth right now, but that beats a cigarette. Ten days! My cigarette money is going into a high-yield savings account and it will be matched by my main supporter in this endeavor after six months towards the purchase of a new computer.

Soooo. I will be here until the 19th, then in TX for Christmas and such until the 30th, then back to Portland for New Year's, then to the Rose Bowl, at which I hope to see my Texas Longhorns win their first national title in 35 years. It's going to be a fun month, I can tell.