I find that Sunday nights are an exceptionally good time to hone my Spanish-speaking skills. They are $10 dance nights at XTC, and a large portion of the crowd is Hispanic or Mexican. I think I danced for exactly three white guys out of the 20+ I danced for this past Sunday. At the Show Palace it was the same way on Sunday nights, and those weren't always $10 nights either. I think I am going to buy a Mexican flag bikini to show my appreciation.

For this week, however, I will be sporting burnt orange to celebrate the Longhorns' advancement to the Sweet Sixteen. I can't wait until this weekend - it should be an absolute blast!

A few nights ago I was in the dressing room getting ready when I overheard a conversation between a couple of dancers about the war; one of them, KK, was reading an article from the paper that discussed some of the historical and biblical importance of the Middle East. She pulls out a Bible (not the first time I've seen one in a strip club's dressing room, but not a common occurance by any means) and begins to read from Zacariah, telling the other dancer, Pandora, that the events in the Bible are being borne out by the current war, and that Revelations is not too far away either. Erica is listening, keeping her mouth shut, and I just give my comments when Pandora asks KK, "So what is this about? What do you think is going to happen?" I say, "Some people believe that the end of the world is predicted by the Bible and that we are approaching the Apocalypse. Some people think that the Bible is full of prophecies." I think, I can't believe one of them is a stripper I work with! And she's a very nice girl, apparently a good Catholic to boot. Erica came up to me on Sunday to say that she was thankful to hear a thoughtful comment on the whole bizarre episode; turns out she's a Unitarian. Now, if strippers are going to be churchgoers, that's probably the way to go; the Unitarians are good people.

I have to say that as a group, the XTC girls are keeping me pretty damn entertained. They're a pretty cool bunch and vary widely from the gothy, tattooed and pierced slender type, to the boob-jobbed workout queens. None behave like primadonnas, which is amazingly refreshing.

So, Sunday was a decent enough night, not amazing, but I heard a lot of girls complaining so I think I must have made out better than the average. And I ran into a guy I met last Tuesday - I had danced for him once that night, and when he left he called me over and slipped a tip into my hand so I would remember him the next time he was in - it was a really sweet gesture! But I would have remembered him anyways; I had seen him in the club before. Anyhow, he was busy most of the time with Tara, which I appreciate. She's amazingly tall, tatooed, and gives great dances. I did get to go over and say hi and dance for him; he was pretty much the only non-hit-and-run customer of the night. He does this thing when I'm dancing that I think is so sweet - he'll reach over and brush the hair out of my face. And he's fun to dance for.
At the very end of the night, right after I had gotten off stage for the last time, a little guy pulled me into the expansion room and had me dance a couple of times. I put my clothes back on and he asked for more - then repeated this for four more songs, until the bitter end of the night. I think he liked watching me get back in and out of my dress as much as anything, since usually guys don't wait 'til you're dressed to ask you for another dance. But hey, taking off my dress is something I am good at, so I understand why he wanted to see me do it repeatedly.

This week's Life In Hell has Akbar or Jeff asking the other, "What are you trying to accomplish by dancing naked against the war?"
"To oppose and arouse!"

I imagined that world events would slow down the club last night, and it was indeed quiet at the beginning of the night. It was surreal to sit in VIP with Fox News on (and dammit, strip club patrons and employees should not be watching that network), then see some basketball, then some more coverage. It feels like the Final Four War. Oddly, there was an enormous rush of customers at midnight, packing the place until closing.

At the beginning of the night I spent some time with a really interesting guy who was extremely flattering; I hope he returns as he was very thoughtful and really funny - an attorney, and an Austinite, which makes him laid-back. We did a couple of dances before he split and spent some quality time talking about various things, and I basked in all of the compliments - about my personality! Ahhh, I love it when they love me for my mind . . .

There was a guy in the club entertaining some Korean clients, and when I was sitting with him he told me he'd promised his wife he wouldn't have any lapdances, so sould I just sit on his lap and rub his shoulders instead for the same price? I was glad to oblige, though this would seem to be obeying the letter if not the spirit of the law. This man, Rob, went on to tell me that his wife didn't really like to rub his back and that she wouldn't let him give her massages very often. The conversation proceeded towards their sex life, with him asking me why women didn't want sex after they had children, a topic I personally know nothing about (though I do know plenty of women with kids that very much want sex). After hearing about his sad, rare-event sex life, I wanted to grab him by the shoulders and say, "Look, fella, if anyone deserves to have a naked woman dance in front of him it's you! If your wife won't fuck you, how in the hell can she begrudge you a lapdance?" I didn't, of course, because that would have been rude. I was riled up and amused by Dan Savage's column this week, all about people whose partners won't give it up, so it was on my mind. People should be having more sex, especially now.

I was pleased to run into one of Monty's coworkers and friends, John, at work as part of a bachelor party. He and his wife were in Hawaii with Monty and his wife, Shea, at the same time I was a couple of years ago, and they are a fun couple. In fact, if Amanda wasn't pregnant, I would have totally told him to bring her in sometime. They had me be one of the girls doing the "Chair of Pain" for him - this is where the bachelor is dragged up onto the stage and humiliated - and I got to help rip off his underwear which take the cake for all-time cutest underpants on a bachelor: Winnie the Pooh flannel boxers. Very funny. It was my first time to do one of those things but it's just a variation on the things I do at bachelor parties so I winged it and had some fun. Also, it got me a dance as soon as I came off the stage from a guy from Chicago, in town for the photographic educator's convention that's here - wonder how much business that'll bring in?

SXSW provided me with a few great shows. I love getting to dance to music I listen to in real life, and I had the chance to dance to some of it with all of my clothes on for the first time this weekend. The songs/bands that I dance to at work that I saw this weekend: Ted Leo and the Pharmacists (Thursday at Emo's): "Where Have All the Rude Boys Gone", "The High Party", and "Ballad of a Sin Eater" (it turns me on to dance to anti-imperialist invective). Idlewild (wonderful, amazing show Friday at Antone's): "American English", "You Held the World in Your Arms", "A Film About the Future", "Captain". Spoon (in front of thousands at Stubb's Friday): "Anything You Want", "Everything Hits at Once". And I fully intend to dance to the music of the Darkness, a hilarious Brit group that hails back to the glory days of Sweet, Slade and Gary Glitter with a little American hair metal thrown in. Great song title of theirs: "Love On the Rocks With No Ice".

Did a bachelor party on Saturday night for a friend of a friend; I was amazed they found a hotel room on the Saturday of SXSW. I heard what is possibly the best remark ever at a bachelor party. One of the guests said to the best man, "You are the Frank Lloyd Wright of bachelor parties!" Which must make me the Fallingwater of strippers. It was a pretty small crowd, definitely the fewest guys I've performed for, but they were a great bunch, very funny and cool. The bachelor was marvelous. I was having them do some bodypainting on me, and they wanted me to paint something humiliating on the bachelor, so I painted "I love Bob Stoops" on his back (one of them had painted "OU Sucks" on mine). The candle wax was a great hit and an encore was requested. Afterwards I actually stayed out late to attend a SXSW party, my only one of the conference, and was up way late. Oh, the Maxim party had tons of strippers/models there; it was pretty funny, but not very interesting, though my sister and I were chatted up by some LA resident who said that he was sick of women with "fake breasts, fake lips, fake hair, fake nails" and was impressed with us. Of course he was; my sister's natural DDD's (that's three D's, not a typo) were about halfway contained in her dress and he had a very nice conversation with them! But we prefer our men from either Texas or the East Coast in general.

SXSW has started, so I won't be at work again until Monday, though I have a bachelor party to do on Saturday night. I can't believe that it's been ten years I've been going to this thing; hell, when I saw my first SXSW show, I was still a virgin, that's how long ago it was! I intend to go to the Maxim party this afternoon; they love strippers, right? I'm going to go pick up some flyers or cards from work to give to folks.
Work was pretty fun on Tuesday night; Dave the DJ was sort of lit and really entertaining on the mike, except when his material fell flat. He did make me completely lose it, when in the middle of the moaning in "Whole Lotta Love," he said, "This is what it sounds like when I'm fucking . . . Robert Plant!" And while I like a little comic relief in my dances, it's hard to be sexy when you're laughing that hard.
In stark contrast to some of my experiences last week, every guy was a perfect gentleman tonight. I know that seems an interesting way to characterize men that are looking at me naked, but hey, If I can be a lady wearing nothing but heels, they can be gentlemen watching me. And they were! No one bought fewer than two dances (of course, it was $10 dance night, but even so, you'll usually get a lot of guys that only want one) and they were all well-behaved and nice.
I need to mention a girl that works at XTC that has completely impressed the hell out of me. She dances as Tzera (teh-zer-uh) and is apparently a former gymnast of some experience. She walks on her fucking hands on stage, does backwards handsprings, handstands, one-armed pushups, all kinds of amazing shit. The stages at XTC are nice and large, which is conducive to creative stagework, by the way. Her table dances are really hot, too, I've been watching. And while I am generally not a fan of tattoos, she's got a pair of eyes tattooed on her ass - I can only imagine that this adds another level to sex with her, just think about it - and I am a sucker for a tattoo with comic potential. I really wanted to write about her because I love original dancers like that. Very few put much effort into stage performances these days, so I love watching a woman that can do unusual, creative things up there and is actually interesting to watch dance for more reasons than simple nudity.
I have to say that I am very pleasantly surprised by how much I have enjoyed working at XTC overall. It's much nicer to work there than I ever would have thought from their somewhat bad rep in Austin, and the clientele is better than it was at the Show Palace. I'm really glad that I decided to check it out on a whim as I've become comfortable there in a much shorter period of time than it usually takes me to settle in at a new club.

I haven't written this week mainly because work was a big pain in the ass for a great deal of it. The week started off very well with a really fun bachelor party, one that I did in a lovely hotel for an unfortunate guy whose friends had outfitted him in a burnt orange velour suit, an Izod shirt and naked lady tie, wig and mustache. He was an extremely good sport considering all that his friends had put him through. The guys were going nuts with the digital cameras, and while I'm not worried about naked pictures of me showing up on the internet, I think I'm going to start bringing a Polaroid and doing my own photos.
I came up with a new party game and I'm thinking of incorporating some naked Twister with the bachelor into the parties as well - I like naughty games! I can be the adult version of team building, I think.
I worked on Tuesday night and it was terribly slow; my night was saved by two customers that came in. I spent most of the night with one of them - the guy I met last Tuesday that I chatted with all night. It's really great to have guys like that on the slow nights - at least you're enjoying yourself instead of stressing out about how slow it is! Fritz, who I hadn't seen since just before Christmas, came in around 12:30 and I did some dances for him in VIP. He said that he had been really drunk when I saw him before and tried to apologize for the way he acted - which was to spend money and make me laugh, so I was having none of it, of course. What a cretin. I was really glad both of them were in there, because even so it was a slow night, so I can onnly imagine how bad it would have been!
Thursday was just odd, though it did start off very well. Hayley (well, she's Marty at XTC, but she's Hayley in real life and was at the SP, so she will remain Hayley to me) came over to fetch me to a table where one of the customers had told her he was in search of me since he'd seen my website! I was so excited to have someone come in just because of that - and he was cool, too! They were really generous and tipped me about $50 on one of my side stages, which was really, really sweet. and also bought a batch of dances. However, his friend got really handsy and I ended up getting called into the office and reprimanded for letting things get out of hand - I've never had this happen in my life as a dancer and it was not fun. But after that I was much better about putting hands down, I don't want to get in trouble. Plus it's more fun for me when I'm not being touched. I am happy to do body slides and wiggle around on laps, but I prefer not to worry about wandering hands in the club - lags and back are ok, but once hands start wandering around the thighs, it's a sure bet they're looking for other parts, too, and that just makes me nervous.
I danced for some other folks, and ended up with totally decent money, twice what I'd made on Tuesday, but on my last dance of the night my very favorite baby pink breakaway thong was stolen by some drunken assholes that were subsequently kicked out of the club. I was so mad, I was ready to hit them. I swear, this shit pisses me off more than anything! It totally ruined my attitude for the rest of the night. If anyone is reading this that's in Dallas, and wants to please me immensely, go to the Electrique Boutique and get me a replacement and I will dance for you in it for free to show you my thanks (or buy two and I'll let you keep one).
Last night was a very slow Friday, it was my first weekend night at XTC and every single girl said that it was a aberrance, that it was a crappy Friday. I will have to agree - there weren't a lot of people there and the ones that were weren't buying dances. This has just not been a fun week, aside from the few bright spots, and I'm venting!
Oh, I was really pleased to run into John, a former bartender from the SP, and his girlfriend, who dances at the Landing Strip (I will withold her name in case her single status is important to her work). They were visiting Matty, the DJ, and Jennifer, who had both previously worked at the LS as well. I always like running into them.
And one of my former roommates made an appearance, too - I hadn't seen her since we lived together some three years ago during my very brief, very ill-fated attempt to live in a house with other people.
I will be off tonight, and hopefully Sunday will be a good start to a new week. I intend to work Sun-Tue, then kick back and enjoy SXSW. I sure would love to get booked for some label parties, sigh . . .

Hi, I'm back from vacation, returning to stripper land. Vancouver was lovely. I can't believe I traveled 2000 miles (that's 3200 kilometres for my Canadian readers) north in order to fortuitously escape the nasty ice storm that shut down the town last week.
I have a party to do tonight for some guys I met at XTC a couple of weeks ago that I'm really looking forward to. They were really fun to talk to so I bet the party's going to be a blast. I have a new trick to try out tonight, too.
The week before I left I worked three nights in a row. I can't remember the last time I did that! I actually got to meet Jenny, of Jenny's Nude Modeling, who came in with a really generous customer last Tuesday. I was sitting at a table with a customer when a waitress came over to tell me that a couple was looking for me, and I turned around and recognized her instantly from her pictures. She was really cool, though I was nervous about meeting her and wasn't as laid back as I wish I was, but she and her companion were both very friendly and good company. I went back and forth from the previous customer's table to theirs for most of the night and had a really great time. It was $10 dance night but he paid $20 for every single dance, which was very cool (and much appreciated). She is so beautiful, a really delicately-featured redhead with a smoking body and a great personality, really nice and fun. She has this wonderful good-girl vibe about her that is so refreshing in a strip club.
The guy that I spent the other half of my time with was really fun, too - I had approached him earlier in the night when it had been really slow just to have someone to chat with, and we ended up having a blast talking about UT basketball and baseball and just stuff in general. He ended up getting loads of dances and was a real joy to hang out with - and he emailed me UT sports updates while I was on vacation! The weird thing on that Tuesday was that the club kind of cleared out after 12 am. It was a $10 Tuesday and I guess guys go home early, but it was odd as I'm used to the crowd picking up after 12, not dropping off.
Let's see, I worked my first $10 Sunday that week too, and it was rockin'! So much fun and really easy money, like bending over and picking up $10 bills from the ground. Every time I thought that I was done for the night after 1am, someone else would grab me and ask for a dance. Finally it was the last four songs and I was ready to quit when a young man asked me to his table, and I thought he jsut wanted to spend that last $10, but I was at his table 'til the bitter end (and after when he ran to the ATM!). Sundays I think are going to be a great thing at this club; in terms of volume and income it's like having an extra weekend night.
Remember my former coworkers I said I thought would be heading to the Yellow? Well, Lexi and Leah are at XTC and they are great additions to the club - Lexi's a tall, slim, enhanced blonde with freckles that I find very appealing - I really like freckles on fair-skinned girls - and Leah is a porcelain-skinned redhead who is just tiny and perfect. They are also both really nice and fun women, so I'm really happy they're here too. Now if only Alyssa and Megan would come over. I would love to see them both. And Madisin, too. And Jordan. Sigh. I miss the cool girls of the Show Palace. I think that we should have a reunion! A naked one! And charge admission!