Last Tuesday I was booked for an office birthday party. The guy that set it up emailed me saying that they'd like me to pretend I was in for a job interview, try to fake out the boss, then strip. He went so far as to create a fake resume for me! It was a small software company and they were are really young, recent UT grads, really cool guys. I was very happy to be there, though I have to say that in an office, I try to be a little more sensitive to the possibility of making people uncomfortable, especially at 2:30 in the afternoon. Sober people at work aren't my usual crowd! The lucky birthday boy had gotten off of the phone with his mom for my "interview." I had some cake before I left and chatted with them - turns out one of them had designed the Joy website and was unaware that they had lifted the design entirely for their new club in San Antonio. I suggested he ask for lifetime VIP status at both clubs in compensation. You can compare for yourself here at the Joy of Austin and San Antonio Penthouse websites. The Penthouse club looks really great. I'll keep everyone posted as to a possible visit to San Antonio.
Tuesday night I was scheduled for a bachelor party in Round Rock. I was happily motoring up I-35 when I had a blowout about a mile before my exit! I was able to make it into a Shell station, where I called the party and told them if they wanted me there, I'd need a ride.
"Where are you?"
"I'm right off exit 252."
"Where's that?"
"Uh, between exit 251 and 253?"
They talked drunkenly amongst themsleves, not able to figure out where I was - I mean, I was right off of the highway - and I decided that I didn't care to have people that drunk driving me anywhere! I ended up having my tire changed by a couple of friendly guys - oh, I was wearing my schoolgirl outfit when this happened, lots of fun to be in that on the side of the highway! When I pulled into the station I ripped it off (thank god for velcro) and pulled on my little party dress I'd been wearing earlier. I ended up turning around and going home after that ordeal. I felt really bad about missing the party. I've never ever done that before.
I didn't work again last week until Friday as I was watching lots of hockey, which I will be doing again tonight. Friday was another kind of quiet weekend night but it was all right. I was tickled pink on stage - I danced to Ted Leo's "Ballad of a Sin Eater", the best anti-imperialist anthem of the year, when one of the guys in a bachelor party tipped me and asked, "Did you pick the Ted Leo?" I didn't think anyone would ever ask me about that particular tune. Everyone at the club likes the songs I dance to from Hearts of Oak and I am considering putting together a little XTC excursion to his show at Emo's next month. Sunday rocked, however, I was busy the whole night. I was so bushed when I got out of there, though. I went on stage so much that I finally skipped at the end of the night, something I really rarely do, preferring to go on stage rather than pay $20. I just had too many requests to get to, and I didn't get around to them all. I did go back into VIP for a while with this really funny guy from Dallas. He started laughing during one of my dances and I asked him why. He said, "I almost just said "Boo!" to scare you!" This cracked me up as well. I love a man who maintains a sense of humor when I'm wriggling around naked. We got to talking about movies, and I put forth my theory that television's better than movies (a popular one). "Like The Shield, that's such a great show!" "Yeah, that's what I was thinking of! And Boomtown, that show's really good too," he said. I myself watched the entire Boomtown marathon on Bravo - well, I taped it and only watched, like, five hours at a time. "Yeah! That show's great!" I love cop shows, I can't help it, they are the best. Of course, there are always strippers on cop shows. So I had fun with him, then went back out on the floor and kept working for another half hour then had to head home.
Last night was pretty good at the beginning but was dead by midnight. I had a customer in early in the evening and did several dances for him and a couple for his friends, then got lucky with a couple of other guys later in the night. There was one from Laredo that I did several in a row for - he was such a blast to dance for, he was looking at me like he'd never seen anything so great in his life! He said, "You look like a dream." So sweet.

Monday night was surprisingly good. It was quiet, but all of the customers were buying lots of dances, and it seemed like many of the girls left happy. I was fortunate to do really well dancing for one particular table and didn't have to work very hard - a really pleasant night.
Everyone seemed thrilled to listen to the new White Stripes songs I brought in to dance to. I really love a couple of those songs for work; and it's a pretty great record, though their success always makes me bemoan the fact that the Gories and Oblivians were too early to cash in on the garage rock mania that has finally seeped to the surface of rock fashion.
I was irritated by this one particular girl who was hustling one of the guys at this table incredibly hard - she kept bugging him for a dance constantly when he was clearly not interested, and he just didn't know how to get rid of her. When she finally got him to cave, the guy I was dancing for offered to pay. She dances, then interrupts my customer in the middle of my dance to get paid! I was shocked - I would absolutely never do this. I know she was trying to get her money, but for fuck's sake, I was in the middle of dancing for him, how far could he get? To add insult to this episode, she takes a $100 from him, then takes about 15 minutes to return with the change after being in such an all-fired hurry to get her money. Unbelievable. I now understand how she makes her money - by irritating the guys into buying dances so she'll leave the table! The guy that was her mark ended up leaving the table, finding Becky, and taking her off into the corner to dance for him so he could escape. I never really cared for that girl in the first place - she's got a hugely negative attitude.
I'd like to express my amazement at something my manager did last night. I was tipping him out and counted out a bunch of ones to hand him. A few minutes later he approaches me to tell me he found a ten and a five in the midst of the singles - and hands them back to me! I was totally shocked and impressed that he did this; of course it guarantees better tipouts for him in the future, but that implies an awareness of the big picture, which is something many managers I've worked with are painfully lacking. So here's to Cruz, who's rapidly becoming one of my favorite managers ever. Ahh, honesty from club employees, what a refreshing thing.

Ahh, back to work after the Final Four . . . it rained mercilessly in New Orleans - and I'm not talking about Gerry McNamara's three-pointers, either. The weather thwarted attempts at scalping and at finding better seats, though I did get better seats from a disappointed Texas fan that went home early (thanks Dad!). I was so thrilled to attend my first Final Four and insisted on staying after the championship game in order to hear "One Shining Moment".
Tonight was the first Wednesday I've ever worked; they are oil-wrestling nights and I don't like to compete with big spectacles in the club, but this was more subdued than it was at the SP. I very nearly wrestled and I'm considering doing so - I will be sure to announce my intentions well in advance so that I can try to have a bidding war at the auction to be my cornerman.
I had a couple of emails this past week from people in the DFW area looking for bachelor party entertainment; any ladies interested in being my Metroplex affiliate, please get in touch - I need someone to whom I can send referrals.
Work was slow tonight but I was fortunate in that I had several customers in early in the evening and then one to hang out with during the boring part. He had bought me dances last week from Tzera, mentioned here before as the amazing, walks-on-her-fucking-hands girl. She was pretty damn fun to have dance for me - she did this thing where she vibrated her thigh between my legs - I wasn't sure whether to laugh or be aroused. I did a little of both.
So, the oil wrestling thing is pretty standard, the two combatants are put up on stage and the right to be a cornerman/trainer is auctioned off. The girls take the stage in their XTC t-shirts and nothing else - they are barefoot, too, since you really can't oil wrestle in shoes - and all of the other dancers have to get up on stage during the auctioning process. There's a ring (an air mattress in a box) in front of the large second stage, and the girls stand in their corners while their trainers squirt baby oil all over them. Naturally, every single guy that does this thinks that it's hilarious when he squirts the oil directly at the wrestler's pussy! The girls go at it in a best-of-three, officiated by whoever decided to bid for the ref's position. The two that wrestled tonight, Serena and Vivian, were kind of mismatched physically as Vivian has about six inches on Serena, but they went after it in that stripper-style catfight way and were mostly horizontal so it didn't matter much.
I am of the opinion that oil wrestling, like eating, is far more fun to do than to watch. I just can't imagine getting done with a bout and showering and going back to work. The film of oil left all over your body remains until you've had a good, long, hot scrubbing with dish detergent; strip club showers are rarely sufficient!
I'm looking forward to working this weekend since I haven't worked very many of them. Should be a good one.

I have been such a bad worker the past couple of weeks - my allergies were so terrible that I was really dragging. I went in last Thursday to work my required night for the week (in order to be able to work the weekend), and was feeling so poorly that I skipped out within two hours, leaving a couple of customers behind. Ick! I didn't do a damn thing all weekend long, missed the basketball fun (except on TV) and sat around gulping pills. I feel better this week but was still a little wiped out on Monday and Tuesday. I've been trying to conserve my energy for the trip to the Final Four this week - I was excited anyways, and having Texas in there just makes it all the more exciting!
Mondays are usually really slow, and I avoid them, but fortunately there was a guy I'd danced for last weekend in there, and he pretty much single-handedly made my night, buying lots of dances and one of my g-strings from me! He's Mexican and I was really working overtime to understand everything - though I did learn a few new words and improved my conjugation skills. There are such interesting secondary benefits to this job. Tuesday night was busier but far below par for ordinary Tuesday nights, but I had a friendly customer in that I hung with; then Serena was nice enough to take me to a table she was at where I made some money - but I tired out too quickly and still went home early. Hopefully I'll be back to speed like I was once I return from NO.