At work, doing a table dance for a really, really drunk guy:

DG: If you ever have a little boy, and you catch him goin' ta one of these places, whaddyou gonna tell him?

Me: You'd better be tipping well.

booo!

My first night in Vegas gets an F for fuckin' sucked! Not the worst first night I've had at a new club, but down there. It was easy enough selling dances on the main floor but hard to sell more than one or two, and I had little luck selling VIP; when I finally snagged one, and had him ready to go for the nicest (read $500/hr with a $250/hr bar tab) room in the house, his CC was declined. Actually, they wanted him to call, I'm assuming because of out of town charges, but it wasn't happening. So my night went rapidly from sucky to all right to sucky in the space of half an hour, time for which I was paid exactly nothing. There's really nothing I could have done about that (believe me, I tried to help the guy find alternate CCs or ATM cards), so I just bid him goodnight and then was ready to go.

My traveling partner fared better, though not spectacularly well, and reports from the others at our after-hours breakfast weren't great either, with the exception of one lovely who'd spent four hours in a skybox at Sapphire. We're weighing our options for tonight -- return to the same club, which we are somewhat familiar with at least, or try another? There are so many options here. With clubs that are open 24 hours, you could at any moment be working somewhere.

Oh, also, it's really sunny and warm, and I forgot to pack a swimsuit, so I hung out by the pool in one of my work bikini tops and hot pants (I didn't want to rock a stripper thong poolside).

Anyhow, onward to recoup my remaining travel expenses and start turning a profit -- initial Vegas expenses include not only hotel, airfare, and car, but also a $45 sheriff's card and a $100 business license. You can see a very funny example of the license paperwork on Avalon's site.

in Vegas

I'm out here in the desert with a friend from Portland. Our plane landed at 9:45. By noon we had checked into the hotel and headed out to our first club stop, to pick up the hiring referral that would allow us to get our work cards and business licenses. All this took until 5 p.m. By the way, I woke up at 5 a.m. and went to bed at 2 a.m. last night. The shift we're going to work -- it's our second choice shift at our first choice club -- starts at 1 a.m. We didn't feel like trying to pull that off tonight, so are going to try to stay awake a little longer and somehow reverse our schedules so we can stay up until 6 a.m. tomorrow.

It's my first time working here, by the way. I'm a little intimidated, and frankly not in the mood for four nights of noisy crowded club, so I'm going to try to calm myself intensely and focus on creating the kind of experience I want to have here.

And also I finally met Avalon in the flesh! I look forward to having a chance to hang out with her this week and absorb that SuperStrippery goodness.

Casa Diablo, blowing up the internet

In the Times, and of course, in WW. It's hardly surprising, considering the "huh?" appeal of its tagline.

Sorry the stripper blog has been short on actual stripping lately. I promise I've worked this month, just not much. Oh! Apparently enforcement in Seattle is stepping up, as there's been an influx of WA strippers in town, fleeing the possibility of an arrest for the crime of giving a lapdance. After spotting some new hiresdoing coke in VIP last week, the manager at the big club called the cops and had them arrested. The thinking being that it's better to have the cops come to the club because you called them.

I have been too flaky to remember to put in a little club schedule for the past two weeks (they have to be in by club closing on Wednesday), but finally remembered last night a 2:30 a.m. to call and put in a request. Though now I have friends going to Vegas to work during the Final Four, so I left those days open in case I decide to hop a flight out there.

Also, I'm considering a hair color change, which should indicate how restless I am right now.

Hey, remember that vegan strip club?

I worked a few shifts there last month. Well, it's for sale. Here's the craigslist posting, and here's the MLS listing.

Yeah, so that was last week

Times New Viking at La Zona Rosa, 03/12/08. Standing outside I had a nice conversation with a young woman thanks to me thoroughly mistaking her for someone else. She was thinking about going to see the Black Keys at Emo's and wondering if she could get in just paying cash.




The wristband line to get in to Emo's to see the Black Keys. The badge line is to the right and about half as long, though it will reach nearly to Red River about twenty minutes after this photo was taken.



They are covering Captain Beefheart's "Here I Am I Always Am," previously done to great effect by Mick Collins in Blacktop.



Cowbell via Does It Offend You, Yeah? who have been one of my stripper playlist favorites for the past six months or so.


Thursday was the TXBF showcase at Esther's Follies. People sure were friendly when I went out afterwards all dressed up.





I went to a party Friday (I think; it blurs) where there were almost no people watching the wonderful Indelicates



And to the Pitchfork party at Emo's to see Fleet Foxes. The lead singer seemed surprised to be receiving so much love and made me spit a mouthful of my free promotional FUZE back into the bottle with this: "That website [Pitchfork] scares me! It's the scariest thing on the Internet. It's scarier than Two Girls One Cup."


In the ladies' room at Beerland.


The band with the most amazing reverse mullet and most amazing Amish headwear, Ox.Eagle.Lion.Man.



Girl napping on stage as Blitzen Trapper plays.


No Age in a tent.



Sparse older crowd too tired to dance to No Age. Kids had seen them at one of their other 13 appearances, including a 3 a.m. one on the Lamar St. pedestrian bridge.

I saw some other things, too, and maybe I'll list them later. Maybe I don't want to think about rock bands for another 72 hours, though.

Tonight at Esther's Follies: The Texas Burlesque Fest Revue

And yes, it is a SXSW showcase, meaning badges and wristbands get in. There will be a cash cover at the door.

Texas Burlesque Festival on MySpace
Official SXSW showcase info

Showtimes
Doors for show at 7:00pm
Show at 8:00-11:00

Featuring
Miss Maulie
Susan Wayward
The Jigglewatts
Shangri-la
The Amazing Buffy West
The Lollie Bombs
Carousel Cabaret
Kitty Kitty Bang Bang and the No Salvation Army Band

with special guests
Luna Tart
and Rudy Ramirez

Following the revue will be musical performances by the Asylum Street Spankers and Har Mar Superstar.